better left unsaid
by isaacswolfsbane
Summary: Theo's decided it's the right time to tell his best friend the truth about himself, but how will Blaise take it? / For Amber.


**AN:** For Amber. I'm not sure where this came from, it was supposed to be cute and fluffy. I'm sorry xD

Thanks to Sam for betaing :3

This takes place in a world where Voldemort was never in the picture (or some world that means everyone graduated when they should).

* * *

 **better left unsaid**

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However, it is a truth known only to Theo that this particular single man would rather a husband than a wife. Not that Theo is anywhere near the age he thinks he should be getting married—he only graduated from Hogwarts this year, after all—but he still thinks the saying is horseshit.

The saying, however, is something Theo thinks about a lot. He thinks about it in the shower, he thinks about it on his commute to and from his job at the Apothecary, and he thinks about it as he paces the cobblestones of Diagon Alley while he waits for his best friend. It's something Theo knows Blaise has always believed in, and something Theo wishes he didn't. It isn't Blaise's fault, not really—he had a very traditional upbringing and he's never had cause to deviate. Still, it does sting a little whenever Blaise mentions growing older and finding a wife.

"You should have brought gloves," a voice says from behind Theo. He's rubbing his hands together to protect them from the cold.

"You know I hate gloves," Theo says, turning to face Blaise. "They're restrictive."

"But they keep your fingers nice and toasty," Blaise says with a laugh, wiggling his gloved hands at Theo.

Theo joins in the laughter as they make their way up Diagon Alley. As they walk side by side, Theo can't help but marvel at how in sync they both are. Their footsteps find a joint rhythm almost immediately, and both boys visibly relax with a soft exhale of breath (though for entirely different reasons). The conversation flows naturally, as always, with talk about their work and how they're spending their holidays, including making plans to meet up again after Christmas to exchange gifts. Blaise hasn't started his shopping yet; Theo shrugs it off awkwardly as he thinks about the gift in his pocket, the gift for Blaise which was the first present he bought and cost more than he spent on everybody else combined.

"We're here," Theo announces brightly.

"Ice skating?" Blaise scoffs

If he was expecting an enthusiastic reaction from Blaise, Theo would be severely disappointed. Thankfully, he knows his best friend better than that.

He hits Blaise playfully on the arm. "Yes, ice skating. You bet me ten galleons you'd be better than me, and I need the money so I'm taking you up on that bet."

* * *

Theo laughs as he effortlessly glides past Blaise, Blaise who is clinging to the side and fearing for his life.

"Don't fucking laugh at me!" Blaise yells as Theo passes him for the fourth time.

"I thought you were better than me?" Theo asks, a sly smile spreading across his face. "I think someone owes me ten galleons."

"And I think someone needs to stop being a prick and help me!"

Theo laughs again. "Take my hand," he says, and Blaise does. Theo hate's the way his heartbeat quickens and heat rises to his face as their hands touch—Blaise still has his gloves on so there isn't even any skin on skin contact.

It takes a while, but eventually, Blaise manages to grasp the basics. Or, he can go in a straight line without falling over, at least, and Theo thinks that's enough progress for one day (because the hand that Blaise doesn't keep holding is getting extremely cold).

"Okay," Theo says when they're almost off the ice. "I want you to get from here to the exit on your own. One last test."

Blaise looks worried for a second, but it is quickly replaced with the smug grin that Theo knows (and loves). Confidently—although Theo is still buy his side—Blaise starts to hurry off towards flat ground. Except, he isn't as confident as he seems and also his steps are more akin to walking than skating. Theo doesn't notice this until it's too late. Blaise tumbles to the ground, desperately flailing and manages to grasp onto Theo's arm and pull him down as well. (As they lie on top of each other, it takes everything Theo has to refrain from kissing his best friend).

* * *

"What's wrong?" Blaise asks. He slides a goblet across the table to Theo who catches it effortlessly and leans back in his chair. "Something's been on your mind all day."

"Why can't they just use wine glasses like normal people?" Theo asks, lifting the goblet to eye level to examine it before filling it with wine from the bottle on their table.

"Because goblets make the place sophisticated apparently, not that it works. I don't think anything could actually make this place sophisticated." Blaise laughs. "That's not what's on your mind, though. Quit avoiding the question."

Theo's throat suddenly goes dry. "I…" he tries, but only a squeak comes out. He takes a sip of his wine. "I have to go to the bathroom," he manages to say before practically running from the table.

Once in there, he realises that since it's the men's room, Blaise could very easily follow him in. Theo just had to pray that he doesn't. He wants to tell Blaise the truth—his sexuality, his crush, all of it—but any time he's tried to broach the subject his throat has closed up.

Theo splashes some water on his face. "You may not be a Gryffindor," he tells himself, "but you can do this."

 _The secret to happiness is freedom… and the secret to freedom is courage._

Theo is startled when his mother's favourite quote forces its way into his head. She used to remind Theo of it almost daily when she was alive, but this is the first time he's thought of it since she passed away. He never truly understood what it meant when he was a child, but as he stares at the pale, slightly ill-looking reflection looking back at him, he finally understands—he'll never truly be happy unless he has the courage to be himself, and that starts with telling his best friend.

He dries off his face and is about to leave the bathroom when he stops himself. His mind is racing at a thousand miles per hour. He can't help but wonder what if.

 _What if Blaise react badly?_

 _What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore?_

 _What if…_

Theo lets the thought trail off, forcing his mind not to go to the darker places that it was trying to. He will not let the possibility of losing Blaise throw his resolve. No matter how terrifying the situation may be, Theo knows that he needs to face it.

* * *

"There's something I need to tell you," Theo says, his hands nervously fiddling with the base of his goblet.

"Finally going to tell me what's on your mind?" Blaise asks. He's still leaning back on his chair and Theo is certain that the only movement Blaise has made since Theo went to the bathroom is picking up his drink.

"I, er...!" Theo takes a drink and goes back to fiddling with the goblet, unable to get the words out.

Blaise plucks the drink out of Theo's hands. "Mate, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything."

"I'm gay," Theo mutters, far too quietly for Blaise to hear.

Blaise looks at him in confusion and Theo is certain he has fucked up until he says, "Nah, couldn't work that out. You're gonna have to repeat yourself."

"I'm gay," Theo says more confidently. His confidence was partly due to annoyance at Blaise's initial reaction, but also partly because it didn't seem quite so scary to say for the second time.

"Huh," Blaise says. He goes to take a sip from Theo's goblet which is still in his hand but realises quickly, sets it down, and picks up his own to take a drink from.

"Huh?" Theo asks. "Is that it? I tell you my deepest, darkest secret and all I get is a 'huh'?"

"It's just surprising, is all," Blaise says. "I'm not bothered by it; you're my best friend and it isn't like you have a crush on me." Blaise laughs. "How else should I react?"

Blaise's words come fast and sharp and Theo feels like they've just slapped him across the face. His confidence disappears and Theo feels himself retreating back into his shell (one he wasn't aware of before that moment).

Theo snatches his goblet up and takes a long drink, willing the sting of tears to disappear. He knew his crush on Blaise wasn't reciprocated, but to hear Blaise dismiss the idea as if it was laughable is too much for Theo.

"I… I have to leave," Theo stammers. Her shoves his chair back from the table, his goblet of wine tipping and spilling as he does, and races out of the back door of the pub, Apparating away as soon as he gets outside.

* * *

It's as if gravity has suddenly got more powerful. As soon as Theo's feet hit solid ground, his knees and hands decide they want to be on the floor, too. A sob racks Theo's chest and he's suddenly thankful that he Apparated to the park instead of home so nobody he knows will see him like this.

He shifts to a more comfortable position on the ground, and soon his sobs turn into dry, bitter laughs. If what Theo is feeling is freedom, he's not sure listening to his mother's advice was worth it. He's glad he didn't spill all his secrets while he was feeling brave, and he certainly won't be facing his fears again, that's for sure.

* * *

 **Word Count:** 1,609.

* * *

 **This is for:**

 _ **Monthly One Shot January – Cheeky Slytherin Lass;  
**_ _Blaise/Theo, Romance, Angst, Ice skating._

 _ **Hogwarts Assignment One – Ancient Runes;  
**_ _Task Two – write about someone facing their fears._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Showtime;  
**_ _Only Us – Write a fic with only two characters (no others can be mentioned)._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Count Your Buttons;  
**_ _(dialogue) "Take my hand", (word) money, (object) goblet._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Restriction of the Month;  
**_ _No characters over 20 years old, (quote) 'The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage.' – Thucydides._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Book Club;  
**_ _Dekka Talent – (trope) unrequited love, (action) coming out as gay, (action) lifting something, (word) gravity._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – A Year in Entertainment;  
**_ _Will & Grace – (relationship) Best friends._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Character Appreciation;  
**_ _(theme) unrequited love._

 _ **Hogwarts January Event – Stickers;  
**_ _Barrels – Write about a secret_

 _ **Hogwarts Weekly Event – Happy Newt Year;  
**_ _Hip Flask – write about a secret_

 _ **Hogwarts December Event – The Yule Ball;  
**_ _20\. Slow Dancing – Write about unrequited love._

 _ **Hogwarts 2018 Event – 365 Prompts;  
**_ _132\. First line – It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife._

 _ **Hogwarts 2018 Event – Fanfiction Resolutions;  
**_ _15\. Write a fic set in trio era.  
25\. Write a fic based around a character we don't get to see in the movies.  
30\. Write a fic exploding a different sexuality._

 _ **Hogwarts 2018 Event – Insane House Challenge;  
**_ _87\. (pairing) Theo/Blaise_


End file.
